4.29.2012

Limited.

I want to be and do a lot of things. I want to be a great friend, daughter and sister. I want to be inspiring, want to do great things for people, I want to help out. Help those people who's going through the tuff stuff I went through, still going through. I want to help people with the loneliness that can feel almost to hard to bare.  I want to be strong, brave, a port in the storm. But for so long I've been a prisoner of my own hell. It's like my feelings no longer belong to me. Instead it's like I'm borrowing them and I can't really understand them because they're not originally from me. I'm not sure how to get the control back, the balance and as long  as its like this I feel so limited.

4.28.2012

The bad is much to much.

"bad stuff happens to people, that's just a part of life" "it seems like a pretty big part" "that's why you have to believe that life is more than the sum of its parts" From the movie United states of Lealand

4.17.2012

15 things to give up.

Take time to read this, you wont be sorry.

http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/

Real life.

A memory #1

we're sitting under colonels tent, maybe hiding out from the sun for bit. Or maybe it's night time and we're hiding out from the crowd around the camp fire. It's the usual crew Xtina, Xara, brother Devon, Baba and me. Maybe a few others or a few less but theses ones always popes up once or twice while we're sat here, which is most of the time.
So what did we do while sat there? Nothing special, just talking shit about life and listen to music while having a few beers and stuff. It was the best of times, doing nothing at all but hanging out. Life was that simple, that easy, that great. But all good things have to come to an end, so I've heard. My question is "why"!?

The thing I miss the most when back home, besides the surfing, is the thing I think I took the most for granted while in Oz. How extremely easy it was to hang out. It was just so effortless. When we didn't have anything to do we did something together even if that something was doing nothing it was still great. Back home we have to plan weeks ahead to get togeather, it sucks to be honest.